Attack of the Ants

Springtime…balmy temperatures, the cry of geese flying north (more accurate than the first robin), the veil of new growth over shrubs…and bugs.

Inevitably some species of creepy-crawlies tries to overrun our house every spring. This year it was earlier than usual, no doubt because of the mild winter we’ve experienced in Nebraska. But when I went upstairs to clean up earlier this week there they were: a few ants exploring the eastern wall of our master bedroom and bathroom. Of course, we all know there is no such thing as ‘a few ants’.

I can’t stand bugs. Cannot. Stand. Them.  So I responded as I normally do: scream loudly and hunt for the bug spray. Needless to say, since it’s early, there was no unexpired can of insecticide in the house. Eventually I realized this was a good thing, or I’d have a room that stank for months, plus it’s probably not a good idea to breathe in the fumes night after night. (It’s a little too cold still to keep the windows open.)

We didn’t have any ant traps either, and besides, the tiny terrors were on the wall, up by the ceiling, not on the floor. I resisted the urge to call my husband. Like Suzanne Sugarbaker on Designing Women, I believe that the man should kill the bugs. Not only does my husband not share this belief, he thinks it’s hysterically funny when I come across the occasional six- or eight-legged creature.

Luckily, while at the store getting new ant traps and bug spray, I came across some adhesive picture hangers. As I type, there have been no further ant sightings, and our walls are festively decorated with a series of ant traps. I’m not counting the ones on the floor.

I can deal with snakes, lizards, worms and rodents. Just keep the bugs away.

What creatures give you the willies? Bugs in general or specific kinds like spiders? Snakes or other reptiles? You can tell me. I promise not to laugh.


2 thoughts on “Attack of the Ants

  1. I hope those were ants liking penthouse living and not stuffed ones, heading upstairs for the rack, from your depleted kitchen.

    Me, I hate biting gnats, I guess that’s what they are, that used to lurk in rose bushes along the front of our house. They came with summer, at which time, I had to wear winter gear to feel safe enough to reach the water spigot in the middle of them. Bites hit bare legs or any loose-clothing flaunted areas of the body. This means places a lady doesn’t ever admit! Itches for weeks, remedies worked a couple minutes, then back to intense itching. Awful!

    The remedy was the nice young and handsome man from Eden Tree Service. He worked fast and used a wood-chipper.

    As you point out, a woman has to do what she has to do, to conquer bugs.


    1. I think I know what kind of gnats you mean, Mary! We called them ‘bite-’em-no-see-‘ums’ cause they’d just kind of sneak up on you. I seem to recall Off worked to keep most of those away, which is a good thing. NASTY bites!

      “The remedy was the nice young and handsome man from Eden Tree Service”

      A real hero in other words, LOL! All set to rescue you. 🙂


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