The Gentlewoman’s Guide to Courting a Princess

I am assured that this is no longer the case, and that females as young as fifteen or sixteen go on ‘dates’ with minimal, or worse, no chaperonage, and are not considered ruined, or even fast. One hardly knows what to think. In my day, ladies were not permitted to know their own minds until middle-age or widowhood — whichever came first. 

At the top of society, coming out involved moving to the family townhouse in London or renting one in a fashionable area from early spring until summer, purchasing an entire wardrobe from the most fashionable modistes, and presentation at Buckingham Palace. Following this event, the young lady — preferably no older than 20 — attended a madcap round of balls, suppers, musical evenings, and performances of the opera, theatre, and ballet.

The pinnacle and purpose of all this activity was to receive a proposal of marriage from (ideally) a peer of the realm, or (acceptably) a peer’s heir, or (at the very least), a gentleman of breeding and good fortune. With luck, one might even end up with a husband close to one’s own age, with compatible interests. 

Unless one was royalty. 

Requirements

Queen Victoria, by the time she ascended the throne at the tender age of 18 years, had been presented to nearly a dozen potential spouses. Mutual suspicion and dislike between her mother, the Duchess of Kent, and the entire British royal family led both sides to line up the young princes of Britain and Europe like so many piles of ammunition. 

Of course, eligible suitors for Princess Victoria of Kent (as she was known prior to inheriting the crown) were defined by the Royal Marriage Act of 1772, which forbade marriages into “foreign families” and without the monarch’s consent as “signified under the great seal and declared in council”. Unofficially, this was understood to mean ‘no commoners and no Catholics’, although I am told that these prejudices are not strictly adhered to in modern times. 

Within these restrictions, it was possible for royal spouses to discover the most tender bonds of love within marriage — only consider King George III and Queen Charlotte. Of course, such a union might also result in disaster. The marriage of George IV and Caroline of Brunswick comes to mind. 

This writer has not mentioned the princess’ father, Prince Edward, Duke of Kent. Alas, he died when the princess was a mere eight months old. 

His widowed Duchess, from the minor German Duchy of Saxe-Coburg-Saalfeld, had not impressed the British royal family during her brief marriage. Princess Victoria was her one source of power, and the Duchess soon fell under the sway of an unscrupulous equerry of the late Duke, one Sir John Conroy. He soon convinced her that the young princess should be isolated from her dissolute royal uncles, and must be guarded from danger at all times. 

I regret to say that King George IV, William IV and their brothers made Sir John’s task all too easy. A litany of debt, mistresses, illegitimate children, and forbidden marriages followed them through Polite Society. 

When William IV ascended to the throne in I830, he was 64 years old and had no surviving legitimate heirs. He accepted Princess Victoria as his almost-certain successor. The salvos of suitors would begin well before she turned 18.

Early Skirmishes

The Duchess of Kent fired first in 1832, when Princess Victoria was all of 13 years old. Her mother introduced her to Hugo and Alexander von Mensdorff-Pouilly, sons of her sister Sophie. Nothing came of the introduction other than the princess’ comment in her diary that the von Mensdorffs were “merry and kind”. 

King William countered the following year by communicating to the Duchess of Kent that he wished the princess to marry George of Cambridge, the son of his brother, Prince Adolphus. Predictably, the Duchess ignored him. 

William suggested that Victoria might like to marry another George, the son of his brother Ernest. As Ernest would become King of Hanover on William’s death (women were barred from inheriting), a marriage to George of Cumberland would eventually reunite the kingdoms. 

This reasoning did not impress the Duchess. In 1834, she presented another set of her nephews, Alexander and Ernst of Württemberg. Victoria described them in her diary as “tall” and “amiable”, adding that Alexander was “very handsome” and Ernst possessed a “very kind expression”. 

By 1835, the Duchess’ brother Leopold took an interest in the now 16-year-old Princess Victoria. Leopold happened to be the widower of England’s beloved Princess Charlotte, daughter of George IV and Queen Caroline. Princess Charlotte’s death from complications of childbirth (alas, an all-too-common occurrence).

Since then, Leopold had accepted the crown of Belgium and taken a second wife. Still, he wasn’t above trying to keep possession of his and Charlotte’s former estate as well as a hefty stipend from Parliament. Getting on the good side of his niece, the future Queen of England, might prove useful in the future.

On a more human level, he despised Conroy’s influence on his sister, and heartily disapproved of her treatment of Princess Victoria.

Prisoner Princess

By this time, the princess had almost no privacy, not even a bedchamber of her own. She was required to sleep in the Duchess’ room. The Duchess also insisted on reading Victoria’s diary regularly. The princess was only allowed to write to a few correspondents approved by her mother and Conroy.

King Leopold of Belgium was one of those correspondents. Happily for Victoria, she could trust him.

The following year, in 1836, King William and Queen Adelaide forced the Duchess’ hand, insisting on seeing Princess Victoria more often, and by herself. After all, it could only do the princess’ reputation good to be seen with the man whose throne she was going to inherit. The King’s dislike of the Duchess of Kent did not extend to her daughter. He was aware that the princess lived in a state of near house-arrest, and he feared dying before Victoria was eighteen, the age when a King or Queen of England could reign without a regent.

During one stay with the King and Queen, Victoria encountered John, Lord Elphinstone, and soon developed what is nowadays referred to as a ‘crush’ on him. Lord Elphinstone was also smitten, going so far as to sketch her in church. (Was he supposed to be attending to the sermon? Tsk.) Despite the Elphinstone title being 13 generations old, his lordship was not royal, and was thus considered completely unsuitable by both the King and the Duchess. 

Lord Elphinstone was soon assigned to a high post in Madras. Gossip had it that the post was to remove him from proximity to the princess. That Lord Elphinstone never married fueled speculation over the decades, but there is no solid evidence of lingering romantic inclinations toward his sovereign. 

Meanwhile, the Duchess attempted to distract the princess with yet another set of nephews, this time Ferdinand and Augustus, whose father had married into Hungarian nobility. Ferdinand was engaged, but Princess Victoria rather fancied him. Following one evening, she wrote “ . . . dear Ferdinand came and sat near me and talked so dearly and so sensibly. I do so love him . . . I think Ferdinand handsomer than Augustus, his eyes are so beautiful”. However, this branch of their family had converted to Catholicism, which made them ineligible under the Royal Marriages Act — as Victoria well knew. 

At this point, King William, As mentioned earlier, King Leopold had taken an interest in the princess’ future spouse. He had also taken an interest in one of his nephews: 16-year-old Franz August Karl Albert Emmanuel, younger son of the Duke of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. A few months younger than Princess Victoria, he planned to study at Bonn University and travel through Europe with his older brother. Leopold and his most trusted confidant, Baron Christian Stockmar, thought this prince might be a good match for the princess based on their near ages and his “excellent intelligence” and “pure, unspoilt nature.”

He had coaxed his sister the Duchess into inviting the young prince and his brother to England in May, 1836. Victoria was duly introduced. Earnest was charming, but the young Franz August Etcetera, known  within the family as Albert, dozed off during at least one of the elaborate evening-long dinners. (In his defense, a particularly grand dinner could last into the early hours of the morning.) 

However, Albert and Victoria bonded over their mutual love of music. He and Earnest joined her party at the opera and attended her private music lessons. Albert and Victoria played piano duets together. Nor did it hurt that the princess found this cousin good-looking, although in a letter to her Uncle Leopold, she dwelled on other qualities. “He is so sensible, so kind, and so good, and so amiable too. . . I hope all will go on prosperously and well, on this subject of so much importance to me.” 

All did go prosperously and well, for on February 10, 1840, Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in one of the most famous love matches in the history of the British royal family. doubtless fed up to the teeth with the parade of the Duchess’ nephews, sent for Princes Willem and Alexander of the Netherlands. They were at least not cousins. But in a letter to her uncle Leopold, Victoria dismissed them as “very plain . . . moreover they look heavy, dull and frightened and are not at all prepossessing.” 

Uncle Leopold Makes a Match

As mentioned earlier, King Leopold had taken an interest in the princess’ future spouse. He had also taken an interest in one of his nephews: 16-year-old Franz August Karl Albert Emmanuel, younger son of the Duke of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. A few months younger than Princess Victoria, he planned to study at Bonn University and travel through Europe with his older brother. Leopold and his most trusted confidant, Baron Christian Stockmar, thought this prince might be a good match for the princess based on their near ages and his “excellent intelligence” and “pure, unspoilt nature.”

He had coaxed his sister the Duchess into inviting the young prince and his brother to England in May, 1836. Victoria was duly introduced. Earnest was charming, but the young Franz August Etcetera, known  within the family as Albert, dozed off during at least one of the elaborate evening-long dinners. (In his defense, a particularly grand dinner could last into the early hours of the morning.) 

However, Albert and Victoria bonded over their mutual love of music. He and Earnest joined her party at the opera and attended her private music lessons. Albert and Victoria played piano duets together. Nor did it hurt that the princess found this cousin good-looking, although in a letter to her Uncle Leopold, she dwelled on other qualities. “He is so sensible, so kind, and so good, and so amiable too. . . I hope all will go on prosperously and well, on this subject of so much importance to me.” 

All did go prosperously and well, for on February 10, 1840, Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in one of the most famous love matches in the history of the British royal family. 

Sources of quotations: 

Weintraub, Stanley. Victoria: An Intimate Biography. New York, Truman Tally Books |   E.P. Dutton, a division of NAL Penguin, Inc. 1987

Royal Collection Trust, Description of Princes Ferdinand (1816-85) and Augustus (1818-81) of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha when children c.1824, RCIN 403689