The Gentlewoman’s Guide to Boxing Day

It has come to my attention that there is no tradition in the United States of the fine British tradition of Boxing Day. My poor dear American cousins, I can only extend my sympathies on your lack of this pleasant custom. 

For centuries in England, the first weekday after Christmas was set aside as a day of charity and recovery from all the hurly-burly leading up to the holiday. It was also used as a day to pass on one’s blessings to the less fortunate. Churches would open their alms boxes and distribute money to the poor, while employees would often be given an envelope with a year-end gratuity (what I believe is called a ‘bonus’ in modern times). Servants would be given cast-off clothing and occasionally leftovers from Christmas dinner in boxes to take to their families — hence Boxing Day. 

My hostess, Mrs. Stephens, has given me what she refers to as ‘side-eye’ upon my mention of cast-offs and leftovers as gifts. But they were often appreciated, the clothing in particular. 

If there were no members of the family who could wear the items, they could be sold to one of the second-hand clothing shops that dotted most cities in the British Isles. These establishments ranged from respectable ones dealing only in high-quality gowns bought from ladies maids, down to rag-and-bone shops such as the one mentioned by Mr. Dickens in A Christmas Carol. A box of discarded clothes thus provided either additional clothing or cash to a working class family.

The leftover food would have provided a welcome change to people who subsisted mostly on bread and tea. I will confess, however, that I should be underwhelmed at being given the leavings of someone else’s meal as a gift. 

Beginnings?

The origin of Boxing Day is lost in the mists of hearsay and tradition. The first use of the term to mean ‘the day after Christmas’ was in 1743. But Samuel Pepys refers to the custom of donating money “to the boys’ box against Christmas” at his shoemaker’s in his diary. This sort of donation lasted into the days of my august Queen Victoria. Besides making a bit of a ceremony of giving gifts to one’s servants (quite the opposite of giving so that ‘the right hand knoweth not what the left hand does’), it was customary to send a gratuity to tradesmen that one patronized, as well as chimney sweeps, sewing women and laundresses, and other such indispensable persons on the day after Christmas. 

Going further back, churches in the Middle Ages encouraged generosity during Advent, the season of preparation for Christ’s birth. Money was rare in a time when much of the population depended on barter for their necessities. If one had access to actual coins, one was expected to drop a few into the church’s locked wooden alms box. The day after, as mentioned above, the box would be opened and the money (in theory, at any rate) used to relieve the most poverty-stricken members of the parish. 

Boxing Day is now a holiday across the Commonwealth. It is intended as a day of relaxation to enjoy one’s new gifts in the company of friends and loved ones. The lady of the house is not expected to cook, which must be an enormous boon in these sad, servantless days. 

As in my time, sporting events are still held on it, although a deplorable habit of opening shops for sales now exists. I understand that Boxing Day is either the most profitable or second-most profitable day of the year, but the image of exhausted clerks and cash boys run off their feet saddens one. Ah, I am informed that these employees are now referred to as ‘sales associates’. I suppose one must adapt to modern times. 

I do hope you have enjoyed this look into an old custom. I look forward to further correspondence in the New Year! Do tell me if you are lucky enough to enjoy Boxing Day, and how you do so!

Your Favorite Holiday Books & Movies

Here are the answers to my question about your favorite holiday books and movies last month: Only two book titles came in: The Christmas Trolls, by Jan Brett — I bet that is someone who has kids, lol! And Lady Louisa’s Christmas Knight, by Grace Burrowes — not suitable for children, but Burrowes writes wonderful sexy romances. I should check this one out.

Apparently we’re watching a lot of movies and television shows this time of year: Home Alone, White Christmas (I can’t get enough of Vera-Ellen’s dancing. OMG her feet are so precise!), Love Actually, The Holiday, the 1930s Christmas Carol, The Muppet Christmas Carol, It’s a Wonderful Life, The Polar Express, and of course Die Hard. 

TV shows were A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the 30 minute TV show I grew up with – woot!), Frosty the Snowman, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. 

Happy New Year

Are you ready for 2026? Me either. I gave up on resolutions long ago in favor of a yearly review that gives me a chance to see what worked and what didn’t over the last year, and lets me decide to keep or discard goals, or come up with new ones. ‘They’ say to limit your goals. Oh that I could just list three or six, LOLOLOLOL. My one professional goal is to publish A Most Improper Connection, most likely in the second half of the year. 

What about you? If you could only focus on one goal or resolution this year, what would it be?